Right now I am waking up to Ryan's voice, saying good morning to his family, missing my mom, drinking some grapefruit juice, taking my Vandenhaak vitamins, trying to calm some nerves, sitting on one of the beautiful new couches at Redeemer, looking back at my life, listening to Death Cab, drinking Jones, wondering why it's so hard to pin down feelings, talking to Joy about life, deciding that one of my daughters is going to be named Joy, because joy is an incredible thing. I am preparing for the Day, for class, for the ride home, for band practice, for losing things and finding them, for being a philosophical kid without the degree, and for bed. I'm not worried about school. I am wondering how school can be such a chisel, and how I can be such a block of stone. There are things that I don't care about, and things I do care about. I care about the past and the future. I care about you. I don't care if you don't care about this. In heaven, I'm going to look back at my life like it's a second. I'm going to watch God's videotapes of me running around like an idiot for my whole life. It's going to be incredible, a life in microcosm. I'm going to know the reason for the joy and the frustrations, and it will never feel like I'm beating my head against a wall again.
I wish that we could open our eyes to see in all directions at the same time.
5 comments:
i miss you Ben:( hope practicing goes well. i'm definately praying for you.
remember this: "and whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men." Colossians 3:23
Dear Ben:
i miss you a whole lot right now! we should probably hang out soon.
Love, Brittni
Hey Ben.
I read the last line, and thought that it sounded really familiar, and then I realized that it was Death Cab! Cool stuff. I will see you later, I don't know if you're going to the corn maze or lot.
Oops I signed on with a different account. This is Kyle, I wrote the last post.
Ha.
"I wish we could open our eyes to see in all directions at the same time." So do I.
Nice masonry metaphor by the way, I'm sure Joel would be impressed.
I have a favour to ask: can you email me your email address(timdej@hotmail.com) or leave a comment on my blog or something?
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