Friday, May 25, 2007

Interesting Things.

So, here is a collection of interesting things, because I feel guilty about not blogging.

I feel good about the youth group campfire we had at my house. It sucked that I had to sound like a teacher to try to keep things on track. I hate telling people to be quiet. I also learned that rock music can be done on an acoustic guitar, but there is a right way and a wrong way. I learned that when leading worship, rock has its place, but it is a very small and insignificant place. Not unlike one of those poor independent M.P.'s in parliament.

I feel bad about my legs being really sore. Not guilty bad, just sore bad. I feel bad about some friendships that I always take encouragement from but have a hard time giving encouragement in because I am spiritually exhausted. I feel bad because Brittni just told me that Ryan was in a weird mood tonight. I love Ryan. I feel bad for scoring goals at soccer when some people didn't get to touch the ball very much.

I wish I had a digital camera with which to take pictures of my room, and blog them. I would take a picture of how the sun plays in the grains of the mahogany in the side of my guitar. I would take a picture of the stack of papers on my desk, waiting in vain for attention. I would take a picture of my mom's guitar. It's really quiet. And I love it. I would take a picture of my basketball. I would take a picture of the cords on the floor. I would take a picture of my Bible open to James 5, reminding me to wait for the Lord. I would take a picture of a stack of clean clothes. I would video record every second of my day and let you watch it. Sometimes I wish I was a good enough communicator to be able to express to someone exactly what any situation is like for me. I will try right now.

I am a little tired. I want to blog though, because I just read Kieth Brink's blog. And now I want to blog. maybe I was inspired, but somehow I don't think so. I'm probably just jealous that he blogs. I am a little worried. Something about last weekend was wrong. I don't know what. I am worried that the girl I am waiting for might be waiting for someone else, and then she will arrive at my bus stop, and I will have the sign with her name on it, and she will be running around frantically looking for someone with a different name, and a different life. And all I will have is a lame piece of cardboard. And more material to write songs about. I'm sooper-emo. I am excited for work tomorrow because it means I get to pay down debts. Debts suck. I am afraid Mom will come into the room and be mad at me for being on dial-up long enough to write this waste of your time. I feel like I need to focus on grace more. I feel like I need to feel less spiritually mature. I need to pay more attention to school. I need to see some people. I need to not see other people. I need some food tomorrow, or I will be hungry. I'm going to bed, after I check for messages from the girl I'm waiting for. Goodnight. God bless. See you in the morning, or someday soon.
Ben

7 comments:

Joel f said...

Well, Ben, I feel like that somedays too. Other days I just ignore the feelings that are pushing me to do something better with the minutes God's giving me, and waste them. For every one time I use my time well and know it, there's ten times I don't...so maybe I should come over and we can be emo together.

Anonymous said...

hmm,what you were saying about taking encouragement from friendships and not giving any out, i think you give it out without realizing, maybe. you are a really encouraging person.
talking to you makes me think alot. and thinking alot encourages me, usually. you made me think alot about grace since monday, and because of that i've come to some pretty cool conclusions, which pretty much encouraged me alot.

also, i wish you had a digital camera too, those pictures would be cool to look at.

i could probably comment more on here, but my energy from 5 minutes ago is draining. and i just had some of mom's mango-grape-make-stuff-fit-in-the-fridge juice, and i don't feel so good..

i'll be praying for you

justine said...

i'm proud of you ben. you encourage me.

and i'm proud of the girl you're waiting for. she encourages me too.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

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